


you're awful [i love you]

by pagan_mint



Category: Destiny (Video Games), Destiny 2 - Fandom
Genre: AIs in love, Failsafe and Ghost are arch-nemeses change my mind, Gen, Golden Gun, Hunters just be like that sometimes, acts of vigilante heroism, all of Failsafe's friends are dead, gunslinger, non-binary Guardian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 12:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13998168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagan_mint/pseuds/pagan_mint
Summary: Sometimes you're a powerful AI, and you fall in love with someone but they don't love you back because they're focused on saving the entire galaxy from destruction, which is fine and noble and all, but you've still gotta fight for their affections with the other powerful AI that's already kind of in a committed relationship with them even if they don't realize it, and neither of you are going to tell them what's going on because they've got quite enough on their plate as it is with the whole Red Legion thing.But, like, it would be nice if they would pay at least alittleattention.





	you're awful [i love you]

**Author's Note:**

> idk I wanted to write something about Failsafe's unrequited love for the Guardian so (takes one of those silver serving-tray lids off top of fic) _ta-da_
> 
> title is from "love me dead" by ludo! a song that I once set a music video of me cosplaying Riku from _Kingdom Hearts_ to. but that's neither here nor there

You hate Captain’s Ghost. Which is fine, because Captain’s Ghost hates you too.

 _Don’t be silly!_  trills the cheerful you, the pleasant you, the arguably most broken and mentally unstable version of you. _It_ _doesn’t hate us!_

You suppose that’s correct. The Ghost does not hate you. What it does do is pity you, which is much worse.

It doesn’t say as much, but you know that’s what it’s doing when it gets Captain to search for your crew, who is very definitely dead. You can hear it in its voice when it reports back to you about their findings; nothing but old corpses and ancient distress signals. You can see it in the way it flits around Captain when they come to drop off tokens and datalattice, when they stay hidden in the safety of your core to go over their equipment loadout and decide which errand to run for you next. It’s always watching you, trying to gauge your mood, your next move, what you’ll ask Captain to do next.

 _It is a friendly Ghost!_  argues Cheerful You. _And smart! Not like the Cayde unit._

It is smart, you’ll give it that. But smart can still be stupid sometimes, and you don’t trust it to keep Captain alive. You don’t trust it, but you have to, because you can be in Captain’s ear but it is _with_ Captain, telling them what to do and where to go. It is always by their side, and every time the Ghost and Captain leave Nessus, you are reminded of how trapped you are. You try not to bring that up too often, but in lieu of mentioning it outright, you spit sarcasm and vitriol. You want Captain, but without their Ghost – which is a conundrum, because Captain’s Ghost wants them, but without you.

You know what it is to be an AI in love with a being of flesh and blood. You have a past, after all – there was your first captain, and people before that. You know the signs, and you see them all in the Ghost. It doesn’t help that their bond is closer than it might perhaps otherwise be, due to Captain’s inability to speak; at least, you assume they are mute, because you have never heard them utter a word. And while the Ghost certainly possesses the capacity to be rude, you do not think it would speak over or for them unless doing so was required. So the Ghost is Captain’s voice, their guiding light, their constant companion, and you have never seen them question its judgment or opinion. Because of, or perhaps in spite of that fact, you do so yourself - constantly critiquing the Ghost and its actions, highlighting the dangers of what it encourages Captain to pursue, reminding it incessantly of what you have lost and therefore, what it stands to lose as well.

The pity of the Ghost turns slowly to something else, in the days after Captain finds the body of Captain Jacobson. (You are surprised this did not happen sooner.) The banter between the two of you gains a sharper edge, becomes less cordial. During one mission, the Ghost tells you _switch off_ with something close to venom in its voice, and in the course of another you tell both the Ghost and the Exo vanguard on the audio channel to go delete themselves. And after that, something changes in Captain as well; they still come to visit you, turning in the datalattice and tokens they've gathered as usual, but they no longer linger like they used to.

 _Captain, you seem upset. Is it something I said?_  Cheerful You asks, offputtingly upbeat to disguise your genuine concern.

Captain does not answer.

* * *

Your consciousness has been abducted and held captive by the Vex during the course of a mission. This is not new; it has happened to you before, and to the friendly Ghost as well. But nothing has ever happened to Captain - not until now.

With your help, the Ghost had been disguising itself as a Vex, trying to communicate with them and get answers about a mysterious structure they were building in an isolated cave on Nessus. Somehow, they managed to catch the Ghost up in a data matrix, and in the meantime abducted Captain to the structure - which, you discovered in a notation you were able to decode, was for the “disassembly of and/or experimentation upon organic lifeforms.” Which doesn't sound  _great._

 _Captain is pretty organic,_ you drone.  _Making any progress?_

“It’s - there’s a wall up or something, it’s blocking my access - the Vex are going to _torture_  them and they can’t - I can’t get to them, I can’t _help_ \- ” The Ghost is frantic, nearing hysteria, grating on your nerves.

 _I can fix your mistakes, if you will kindly shut up_ , Cheerful You trills. And it does - and doesn't speak again, not until Captain is retrieved.

“I have them,” it says tersely, and then cuts off all communication once more. All you can do is wait, frustrated and anxious, until Captain limps into your core and collapses in front of you.

 _What is wrong with Captain?_   you ask, too concerned to properly disguise the anxiety in your voice. _They should be better by now!_

“I’m trying,” the Ghost snaps. “Whatever the Vex did to them is sucking their Light, like - like some kind of leech. It's all I can do to keep them above critical right now - no, _don't move_ - ”

Ignoring her better half, Captain pushes themselves up into a seated position, leaning heavily against the railing on your walkway. They give you a thumbs-up, attempting to indicate their well-being - poorly timed, as a visible shadow materializes on their armor and darkens abruptly in a pulse that makes them jerk back and let out a cry of pain.

“Hold on,” the Ghost says, “hold on, I’ve got you, hang in there,” and the words are encouraging but its panicked tone of voice is not at all.

 _I’m sure whatever the friendly Ghost is doing will ease your suffering!_ your counterpart chirrups. And for some reason, that’s the turning point; those are the words that make the tiny little robot whirl on you, parts spinning and visual lens flashing.

“They wouldn’t BE suffering if it wasn’t for YOU!” it shouts. There’s an odd ringing to its voice; the effect of the sound hitting your metal walls, you realize. “You rarely do anything helpful, we’re always cleaning up after your messes - ”

There’s an explosive flash of light, startling the Ghost into silence. Behind it, Captain has hauled themselves to their feet and hurled down one of their grenades. It doesn’t harm the Ghost or you, of course, but it’s an effective way to gain both of your attentions. Shaking their head, they hold up a hand, palm out.

Stop.

“I’m sorry,” the Ghost apologizes, but it doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Come on, let’s get you back to the ship. I’ll patch you up there.”

They dematerialize without another word, and you’re left alone.

But that’s nothing new.

* * *

A grounded ship without a crew whose AI is clinging to the razor’s edge of sanity does not deserve forgiveness. You know this. You have been alone for too long, grown too bitter, too angry. You cannot be forgiven. You cannot be loved.

And yet, you wish with a passion you have not felt in decades that you could be _missed_. You certainly miss the Guardian, your Captain, you miss them with every passing day that they and their Ghost are gone. The sound of their boots on your floor, the hum of their Sparrow, the almost-constant gunfire that let you know they were running Vex and Fallen from your doorstep. Nessus is too silent without them; it’s a silence you thought you had grown used to. And you had, until the Cayde unit came crashing gracelessly into your existence, followed by a flashy Light-filled Guardian; after that, nothing had been the same.

The Fallen breach your defenses, start to hack artlessly away at a power cell that is hardly essential but which it would be significantly more convenient to have remain functional. You want to call for help, send out a distress signal; but what would be the point? There is no one to hear it. Even if Captain heard, would they respond? Would their Ghost bother to tell them? You remember the vitriol in its voice, the spark of its Light, and know the answer.

So you remain silent. You sit and you watch the Fallen carve away another part of your body, and you say nothing. You do manage to throw together a makeshift forcefield, and that stops them - stops them for quite a while, so it must be better than you thought. But as the sun bleeds over the horizon and the icy air of a Nessus night descends, they find a way through - and you’re out of tricks.

 _That’s fine_ , you say flatly over the comms - to yourself, to the Fallen, to anyone who might or might not be listening. _I didn’t need that part of my body anyway_ -

The night burns with the fire and fury of a thousand suns, a controlled explosion erupting near your beleaguered power cell and whiting out your remaining security cameras. After a moment, your sight returns, and you see _them_  - O Captain, your Captain, surrounded by flames, fanning the hammer on their revolver, erasing every Fallen that dared to touch you from existence.

And then comes the voice of their Ghost, shouting with all of its might into the deserts and mountains of Nessus, into every crevice where a creature of the Dark could be lurking, all the way into the core of your very being:

“Leave her _alone!_ She’s _ours!_ ”

The two of them come to your core later, and the Ghost pelts you with a manic flurry of apologies and concern. You realize that it knows what it is to be alone, to think you will never have someone to make you whole; knows what it is to lack hope and purpose, to fear that you have lost the person who makes your sad existence worth it. And you try, you _try_ to communicate that, the fact that you _understand_ and that you are so, _so_ grateful.

 _Thanks for leaving me to die_ , is what you say, _six months and three days and four-point-two-seven hours and eighteen minutes ago._

The Ghost sputters, its reticle flashing in irritation. But before it can say anything in response, Captain walks up next to it, nudging it with their shoulder. Their helmet is still on, so you can’t see their expression, but they turn towards you and flip something off their thumb into your core. It spirals through the air, flashing a shimmering silver-blue on the way down, and before you absorb it you recognize it as a Nessus token. It’s a flashy gesture, unnecessary, something uniquely Hunter and uniquely _them_ , and it says more than words ever could.

This time, when you watch them leave, you think to yourself that maybe you don't hate Captain's Ghost after all.

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> thank youuuuu for reading! please like comment and subscribe for more fics similar to this one. but like, do whatever you want, I'm not your dad
> 
> also @ Bungie, pls confirm or deny if the Speaker lives. I can't go on like this. who's going to write my Guardian's checks now


End file.
